self-talk
Free resources and Practices to Change Self-Talk
Numerous free resources and practices can help you work with and improve your self-talk. Using techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and self-compassion can help you reframe your inner monologue from negative to more positive and realistic.
Foundational practices
1. Become aware of your self-talk
The first step is to recognize when you are engaging in negative self-talk. It is often an automatic response, and you may not even notice it.
- Catch it: Pause and notice the voice in your head, especially after a mistake or stressful event.
- Write it down: Keep a thought journal to log recurring phrases and identify the patterns and triggers behind them.
2. Challenge negative beliefs
Once you become aware of your negative thoughts, question them rather than accepting them as fact. Ask yourself the following questions to challenge their accuracy:
- “Would I say this to a friend?”
- “Is this thought based on facts or assumptions?”
- “What evidence supports this thought, and what evidence contradicts it?”
- “Is there another, more balanced way of looking at this situation?”
3. Reframe your thoughts
Replace negative self-talk with more realistic and balanced alternatives. This is a core component of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and takes repeated practice to become a habit.
- Use neutral phrases: If a fully positive statement feels unbelievable, start with a more neutral one. For example, instead of “I’m a failure,” try, “That didn’t go as planned, and I’m figuring it out”.
- Focus on effort: Research suggests that focusing on effort can be more effective than focusing on innate ability. Reframe “I’m bad at this” to “I will do my best”.
Worksheets and journaling exercises
4. Use free worksheets
Several websites offer printable worksheets to guide you through these practices.
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WWU Counseling and Wellness Center
: Offers a “Positive Self-Talk” worksheet that guides you to notice, analyze, identify, and reframe your negative thoughts.
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Therapist Aid
: Provides self-esteem worksheets and “Three Good Things” exercises to help you focus on positive emotions.
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Positive Psychology
: Has a CBT exercise library that includes “Dysfunctional Thought Record” and “Challenging Catastrophic Thinking” worksheets to help you analyze and reframe thought patterns.
5. Try journaling prompts
- “How do I talk to myself? Am I kind and encouraging or critical?”
- “Write a letter to your younger self.”
- “Name five strengths you have.”
- “What is a made-up rule about your life that you apply to yourself?”
Mindfulness and Meditation
6. Observe your thoughts
Mindfulness teaches you to observe your thoughts without judgment, which can help you detach from negative self-talk.
- Free apps: Download apps like Calm or Insight Timer, which offer free guided meditations and mindfulness programs.
- Breathing exercises: Practice focused breathing to ground yourself when a negative thought arises.
7. Cultivate self-compassion
- Body scan: A meditation technique that can help you regulate your nervous system and support kinder self-talk.
- Affirmations: Repeat encouraging phrases like, “I am capable” or “I am worthy of love and respect.” Write them down and place them in visible areas.
Environmental and lifestyle changes
8. Surround yourself with positivity
Your environment and social interactions can significantly impact your inner dialogue.
- Connect with supportive people: Spend time with people who offer helpful advice and positive feedback.
- Curate your media intake: Limit exposure to constant negative information, especially on social media, which can increase stress and comparison.
9. Celebrate small victories
Acknowledge and praise your accomplishments, no matter how small. This helps build momentum and counteracts the tendency to only focus on setbacks.
- Free online CBT workbook: The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) provides a free CBT information guide that includes cognitive restructuring techniques.
- Crisis support: In an emergency, or for crisis support, several free helplines are available, such as Canada’s national suicide crisis helpline, 9-8-8.